christmas blech
so christmas is over another year so stupid. so dumb i can’t believe i let myself get almost excited about it just like when i was little. i thought it could be good.
two weeks without school sounds good but sucks actually. two weeks without school means two weeks looking at KATE’s stupid mug holding hands with my dad trying to look like she’s acting normal. trying to act like i don’t see exactly what she’s doing. two weeks of being alone but you can’t really be alone anyway. two weeks without nortmal people or second period.
family shit sucks.
he blows
my dad is an idiot. he blows. i need new “underwear” but i can’t tell him he gets all wierd. i should maybe talk to KATE about it but never mind it would be even wierder probly.
how many more months until american idle? tv is so shitty now. KATE is so stupid she watches dancing with the has-beens and dad sometimes watches too. such shit.
brad was talking with mike and scott the whole period today so he didn’t look over. at least he didn’t look at britney that i know of. i wanted to see but i didn’t want to look. i wished i was absent in class. i wonder if he wonders where all his myspace hits are coming from.
he looked at me?
so remember just like i said in 2nd period i was going to go talk to brad and really this time. no more chickenshitting. so i was all ready but then HE LOOKED AT ME and omg i freaked. i couldn’t move! i tried not to smile but i couldn’t help it so i looked at the floor. i hope he didn’t see me smile. then i just couldn’t do it.
but then at my locker i told heather all about it. she said no he was looking at britney who was sitting right behind me. not behind me but the other side of me from where brad was looking. so HEATHER THINKS HE WAS LOOKING AT HER and i still feel so idiotic like some baby freshman. BRITNEY IS SUCH A BITCH i should have known!!! first she went after dylan over summer and now this i wish i had never been her friend i hate her.
heather told me i should just try again but she doesn’t know how it felt when he looked at me and when i smiled at the floor. she has no idea. if she knew how it felt and then finding out he was looking at bitchy britney (probbly) then she would never think that definitely not say it.
later liz said heather was stupid and brad really was lookign at me but i know she’s wrong.
PLEASE!
OMG! Okay, I woke up this morning and I suddenly realized – I DON’T HAVE A BLOG! I mean, WTF?! So I took my dad’s high blood pressure medicine and calmed down. I’m okay now, thanks. AND NOW I HAVE A BLOG! So that means I EXIST.
It does, right?
So anyway… today in second period I’m going to see Brad. And this time I’m actually going to talk to him.
Or maybe I won’t….
Should I? Should I?! What do you think? PLEASE tell me!
Whew! My first blog entry EVER. I exist now, right? Do I? Do I exist now?
My dad should be okay with Flintstones instead of his blood pressure medicine today, right?
PLEASE come back tomorrow!!!
